Sulleena Bags a gloom

A good Gloom is just so hard to find. Sullena had been setting traps to snare herself a husband for months, each mantrap becoming less and less subtle.
She had started by using the magic of femme fatale wiles and every trick that had been passed down from her female kindred through the ages. She wore her best mourning frock and pinched her cheeks until they glowed with broken blood vessels. She teased her red tresses into great distress and battered her eye lashes until her eyelids ached.
When all this failed, she tried the �way to a man�s heart is through his stomach� theory; making betrothal meals laced with crushed sleeping pills. But once again her efforts failed; more stringent tactics were called for.
So Sullena took to searching the streets and bars after dark, looking for signs of what she deemed marriage material. Each time she spotted a candidate she went over her mental check list-
1- Human
2- Breathing
3- fingers nude of wedding bands.
JACKPOT!
She tailed her would be suitor a little way until he reached one of the quieter streets, then silently she drew the no fail, husband or bust , secret weapon from her bag; Great Grand mama�s (Great Grandma ma was thrice married and counting) patented man trapping rolling pin.
When the poor fellow least expected it, Sullena walloped him over the head, trussed him up like a Christmas turkey and made for the nearest celebrant.
Then Sullena and Her gloom would live (if he was lucky and the clunk on the noggin didn�t kill him) most Un-happily ever after.

THE END


Lady Nemesis 2002