The slaying of Bridezilla cont.

I asked my love to take a walk
Just a little ways with me
And as we walked and we would talk
All about our wedding day

[Chorus:]
And only say that you'll be mine
In no others arms entwined
Down beside where the waters flow
On the banks of the Ohio

I asked her if she'd marry me
And my wife forever be
She only turned her head away
And had no other words to say

[Chorus]

I plunged a knife into her breast
And told her she was going to rest
She cried "Oh Willy, don't murder me
I'm not prepared for eternity."

I took her by her golden curls
I drug her down to the river-side
An I there threw her into drown
And I watched her as she floated down

[Chorus]

And going home between twelve and one
I cried "Lord, what have I've done?"
I've killed the girl I love
Because she would not marry me

- Banks of the Ohio - Johnny Cash

For months the household had been piqued with the tension; battles plans were drawn and re-drawn, strategies were carefully nurtured and often fraught with dissent, only to be cast asunder and re- hashed at a later date. Sensibilities were offended, dispute reigned rife and more than once the gloom had intervened on impending blood shed. He could take the Bridzilla and her demon consorts no longer. Since the blessed proposition he had broken out in spots unlike anything he had experienced since his teens, his girth had expanded and he was pretty sure he would be bald as a badger by the nuptials should things continue in this vein.
One day after a particularly viscous encounter with the Bridzilla- co-incidentally over his afore mentioned waistline, which could no long be contained within the much hallowed Lilac cummerbund (much prized by Bridzilla’s, yet loathed by glooms.) He could take no more. He drew a nearby cake knife and slew the rabid Bridzilla in one mighty blow.
Lady Nemesis 2005