VIctoria Haemoglobin

Self proclaimed practitioner specializing in Victorian “DIY”, historically accurate medical procedures.

Is pleased to invite new patients
to present their maladies and ailments for her inspection
At her new surgery in
Cork, Ireland.

Victoria has Unique expertise with the following ailments:

HYSTERIA
VAPORS
Glorified Indigestion
MELANCHOLIA
Uncontrolled Spending
Telephone Headache

And the following procedures:

BLOOD LETTING
Sitz Baths
Dousing
BLOOD PURIFICATION
Anti Corpulency.
Carbolic Smoke Ball

Jen 2010

Con Creepy Tours- a custom order

CONCREEPY TOURS
taking you places you never really wanted to go since 666

Concreepy Tours continues to offer you unique tours to the hottest destinations with these Scorching Winter Warmers:

Escape the winter chill in Sizzling Hades! An indefinite stay for as little as $6,666 (includes one way airfares– hey hardly anyone comes back anyway). Let yourself go a little wild in this exotic environment. Our Fabulous (and just a little ferocious) tour guides will tell you exactly where to go…….. For that unique escape. See the distinctive creatures that inhabit this much dreamed of but rarely visited land. Enjoy the local customs and rituals– the fires of damnation and stinking cesspools will make this an unforgettable journey.


Concreepy tours, where you would never dare to ask “Are we there yet”
Satan’s minions are waiting right now for your call

PH: 666– hellfire

-Jen 2009
www.ghouliebabies.com

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Bad Babies

She doesn't mean to be bad, she's just made that way.
It's one of those nighmares in the nursery, baby has indulged in a D.I.Y hairdo (and she knows she shouldn't play with scissors), she sat on the cat, drew on the walls (we can plainly see what she thinks of nap time) and she's eaten an entire box of chocolate cookies- so her rampage wont be ending anytime soon. Bust she's still momma's little angel......

Theresa Tarantula has friends for dinner

Theresa has spent all day spinning new cobweb and repairing any snags or tears in the old web. She’s primed her irritant hairs (after all it is her favourite party trick) and sharpened her fangs.
She’s having her most divine and delectable friends over for dinner you see– and won’t they be surprised to find out what's on the menu......

- Jen 2009

www.ghouliebabies.com

BLACK JACK- Zombie rock gods

HEAT MAGAZINE
Making Your Ears Bleed Since 06/06/06!

INDEX:cover story: RE INCAR NATION’S comeback album.
Indeath Interview: Andy from BLACK JACK- speaks candidly about his life as a rock god.
Freaks of fashion: EBONY is the new black
Heat Quiz “Are you a ROCK CHICK or just another Corpse”
Gag Guide– what’s on in your neck of the UNDERWORLD?

TORMENT AND TRAGEDY
-Nick Lucifer reviews the latest shredding sounds

Black Jack -
“Ode To Abomination”.
Freakin Hot records.
This much anticipated frenzied attack from the Death Rock legends “Black Jack” ignite the faithful. Released to coincide with their World Abomination Tour , This bloodlusting offering will have your pledging your soul for just one more track. Rock until you puke.
Not to be missed

Pus-
“My Wounds Smell”
Belly Laugh inc.
A nauseating offering from the kings of funk. Take an irritating journey through the oozing sound that is Pus
-not for the weak of stomach
XXXXX

Ghouliebabies
&
THE HELLFIREBAR AND GRILL
presents

BLACK JACK

LIVE AT THE HELLFIRE BAR AND GRILL.Saturday night with special guests
Satan’s Cheerleaders promoting “Brimstone Bourbon.”

Tickets: $666 or your soul
Phone 666-HOT-ROCK


Bought to you by BLOODY HOT Productions.©

XXXXXX

- Jen 2009

THE SATANIC MECHANIC

BUBBA
The Satanic Mechanic

By the light of the night-
It will all be alright,
We’ll get you a satanic
Mechanic…...

RESUME:

NAME: BUBBA (Short for Beelzebub)

JOB DESCRIPTION: Satanic Mechanic at ‘Satan’s Spanner Monkeys” garage.

LIKE: Hot cars, Hot women, Hot chilli, Hot wheels, Hot deals and Hot dogs (no Chihuahua's)

PRO’S: Super Strong, undead, limited vocabulary (wont sass out the boss), lack of live nerve endings (doesn’t feel pain); Only has one foot (only needs one steel toed work boot), popular with weird chicks. Doesn’t drink.
CON’S: Likes to Joyride at midnight; undead; attracted to weird chicks; Not a day person;


REFERENCES: Satan, The devil, Old Scratch
666 Brimstone and fire Ave
Hell

Bubba likes his women the same way as he likes his cars– Smokin’ hot... and sometimes they’re literally smoking (that sort of thing happens when you’re employed by Satan.)
He’s very fond of his job at Satan’s Spanner Monkeys garage, but he’s been there for 666 years and he thinks it’s time for a change, but there is no moving “UP” in his current place of employment.
You could say he’s the strong silent type, Dead-icated to his job, looking for a like minded ghoul to move into the family crypt.
He’s open to a new career path– maybe floristry; he’s quite practiced in pushing up daisies….

-Jen 2008
www.ghouliebabies.com

The FRIED bride of Franken-tator

The lightening split the velvet sky and the thunder rolled overhead as Dr Franken-tator cooked fervently in his laboratory.
He had been slaving for hours over a hot stove, his pinny stained with smears of grease and his skin grey with exhaustion, his eyes wild with fever– at one point he thought he would go mad with the aroma of baked potato skins. But then at the stroke of midnight Franken-tator threw his floury hands in the air with glee. All of his peeling had finally paid off. The measuring and straining, grating and frying had resulted in a piece of culinary perfection- his master piece was ALIVE!
After days pouring over cook books and hours in the lab tending to the chopping slab he had created the perfect potato bride– crispy on the outside but still light and fluffy in the middle.
Truly she was good enough to eat…….Or be eaten……

Jen 2008