Miss Atomica

"Welcome Space Ladies and Gentleman, Aliens, Amoeba's, Extra Terrestrials and yet as to be identified species to the 1246 zillionth annual Miss Outer Universe pageant, where Divas from far off galaxies duke it out for a crack at the Outer Miss Universe Crown"
The announcer's (an eight legged, squid like creature who was once a star of the now obsolete plasma screen, with a toothy smile and heavily coiffed hair) voice boomed out over the space theatre-ette. The audience burst into applause, a thunderous sound of various body parts being slapped together.
"Now the lucky winner of tonight's prestigious crown will face an awesome year of appearances and fund raising for the exploration of planet earth program, an intergalactic space cruiser," the audience ooohed with delight, " and a years supply of 'hydra regenerative goo' from our esteemed sponsors the good creatures at 'oil of Ozone'. Again thunderous applause from the crowd and a cheesy, greasy smile from the compare, "Now let's meet the ladies".
Back stage the contestants were doing their last minute primping and inventory of supplies for the rest of the pageant. Miss Atomica slicked yet another layer of 'molten melt' lip gloss to her already fire engine red pout. Some of the other contestants were smearing gloss over their various limbs and scales while others quickly buckled their high heeled slippers- no easy task when you have 6 feet. Miss Atomica's mind was alive with prompts and reminders; lick your fangs before smiling for that smooth, natural smile (nervous lips over parched, dry fangs were bound to cause an unfortunate sneer rather than a perfect pout); Head tall, spikes erect and weight forward, oh and cross your fingers that you don't trip.
It had been two grueling days of personality tests and parades before the panel of celebrity judges. "What would you most like to say to an earthling?". "Which is your favorite planet?". "what are your most essential beauty products?" - oh the inane questions and each answer had to be carefully formulated to reflect compassion, wholesomeness and idol worship of the precious pageant sponsors.
Miss Atomica's compassion and wholesomeness had been sorely tested when that sleazy compare had pinched her behind backstage and if that Plasma photographer from Hubble leered at her again she would be giving him a taste of her 'oil of ozone' that he would never forget.
Her spikes had been curled and permed, crimped and straightened till she was sure they would break off- she was glad she didn't have tentacles though, those leggy girls spent just hours on the treadmill to keep their assets in shape. There had been daywear and sportswear parades and of course the every popular swimwear (in case you are wondering, yes they do use spray adhesive to keep their cozies in place, even in outer space). It was positively exhausting- and the competition was lethal. Some of the other girls really knew their way around the circuit and were expert at sabotage; tying the multi-legged girls shoes together, salt in the amoeba's swimsuits, lemon juice in the mascara of the Cyclops or multiple eyed contestants. Someone had even tried to super glue Atomica's spikes together- but of course she was far too wary of that and always slept wearing a lead lined night cap.
It was tedious really and not at all Atomica's speed, but when she thought of that intergalactic space cruiser she almost purred with delight. She could just see herself zooming around the galaxy. It would be no more little star black hole for her, she was going places! Now all she had to do was win. She snapped out of her daydream just in time to hear her name called; "Now" she thought, "lick the fangs, big smile and stand up tall."..

- Lady Nemesis 2003